I’m sure by now we’ve all seen this photo of Beyonce floating around the internet. In case you haven’t, this is Beyonce and her brand new one-month old twins.
I’ve seen a lot of people making jokes about how their version of motherhood measures up to Beyonce’s version, and clearly there is no comparison. But can we get real for a second? Do we really believe that Beyonce’s version of motherhood is that different from ours just because she’s Beyonce? I mean, come on ladies, sure she’s Beyonce- international pop star, but childbirth is the great equalizer among us. Because no matter how much fortune or fame you might have there is no escaping the fresh hell that is childbirth and postpartum. Even for Beyonce.
How long do you think it took to capture this perfect photo? When my Nugget was three weeks old it took our photographer over an hour to get him to kind of look like he was sleeping- and that was just one baby. I’m guessing this took photo took hours and it’s the only good one from the shoot, which is why it was the one that was released.
The rest of them probably look like Beyonce awkwardly juggling two tiny babies, trying to shush one and bounce the other at the same time; all while her oldest tugged on her dress begging for another graham cracker and she leaked breast milk every time someone blinked too fast because that’s just what life is like one-month postpartum.
And how many people do you think it took to make her look like that? Because even Beyonce doesn’t look that good at one-month postpartum. I’m going to guess it took about 15 highly trained professionals including some sort of sorcerer working their magic to make this photo happen. Not because Beyonce isn’t beautiful, but because the woman just pushed two tiny humans out of her body, and that s**t ain’t pretty.
I’m going to go ahead and take a wild guess that these days, with a preschooler and two infants at home, Beyonce (and her husband for that matter) probably spends most of her time in sweatpants. Sure, they might be $500 sweatpants made from the wool of sheep that are raised by blind virgins and serenaded nightly by a choir of angels, but they are sweatpants nonetheless. Because I can guarantee that Beyonce has stretch marks, a never-ending period, leaking breasts, and hormonal mood swings that would make your husband run for the hills. Just like the rest of us.
So as you’re sitting there reading this, sipping lukewarm coffee (because #forgottenlattes) chilling in your $20 stretchy pants and your buy 3 get 1 free nursing tanks (I have 8, one for each day and an extra because #spithappens) don’t be so hard on yourself.
Motherhood is not magically more glamorous for some than it is for others. It levels the playing field- we’re all just trying to figure it out one day at a time. And quite frankly, if I had that much money, I’d probably dress up like a goddess who is kind enough to grace the mortals with her presence and hold my sleeping children- because why wouldn’t you?!