All About Forgotten Lattes

This Blog Might Be For You!


Whenever I stumble upon a new blog I always think “Is this blog really for me?” (ok, not really, I’m usually there because they’re giving away free stuff or they had a recipe for the ‘best chocolate chip cookies ever’ but that’s neither here nor there).

But if you’re wondering, is this blog for me? Let me tell you why Forgotten Lattes might be for you with a little game I like to call “This Blog Might be for You If….”

The blog might for you if….

…you’re a mom, or a dad, or a caregiver, or just a human person. Or a dog that could read, now that would be pretty sweet.

….you’ve ever touched your child’s poo with your bare hands, on purpose or on accident it doesn’t really matter. Although, why would you touch poo on purpose?

…you can’t remember the last time you went to the bathroom alone. Or did anything alone.

…you regularly forget to finish your coffee, but you wouldn’t dare leave a drop of wine behind. Hello, why do you think this blog is called Forgotten Lattes and not Forgotten Wine??!! Mama likes her juice!



…you’ve ever yelled at another human being because your mama bear came out to play and you just couldn’t help it. (it counts if that human person is your spouse, although that is apparently frowned upon)

This blog might be for you if…

….you whisper curse words under your breath all. day. long. You can take away my ability to survive a full day in non-stretchy pants but you can never take my CURSE WORDS!!!

…you have ever bribed your child not to say the four-letter word they just heard you say. Yeah, sometimes I don’t mumble that quietly.

…you’ve ever had to call the carpet cleaning people before sunrise because you’re having a bit of “cleaning emergency”….if you catch my drift.

….dry shampoo is your best friend. Well that and coffee. And wine. And dark chocolate.

…you have given up showering regularly because it just takes too much effort. Who has time to wash AND blow dry hair??

This blog might be for you if…

…you and your spouse regularly discuss your children’s bowel movements. In detail. Over dinner.

…your official mom uniform is stretchy pants and a nursing tank top. Even if you aren’t currently nursing.

…you refuse to teach your kid how to tell time so that they never know how much time “one minute” really is. Could be 10 minutes, could be 10 seconds, who really knows?!



…you refuse to teach your boy to pee standing up because why would anyone torture themselves like that? Also because you’re still reproducing, which means you spend a great deal of time on your knees in front of the toilet (looking at you, morning sickness) so it’s vital that all bodily fluids make into the toilet, not on the floor.

…you have ever scheduled sex and then went to bed hoping the other one is just as tired as you are. And then you both fell asleep before you could talk about it.

…you’re unsure how you’ve managed to reproduce as much as you have given how tired you are at the end of the day. Seriously, where did all these kids come from? Are we sure they’re all ours?!

…you brag to all of your friends about your new amazing, completely affordable babysitter but refuse to give out her information. Because it’s Netflix. Your babysitter is Netflix.

…you spend hours pinning Paleo/dairy free/gluten free/perfectly healthy recipes and then order a pizza. It’s called balance people.

…you have ever previewed a workout video online. While eating a cookie.

…you think your spouse walks on water, but you will also go nuts if they spill another drop of breast milk. Or fold the towels wrong. Again.

This blog might be for you if…

….you are positive that your dogs are out to get you- cue me whispering to my dog: “I know you only lick your butt on the couch cushion where I sit. I’m on to you man!”

…you’re determined to lose the baby weight but the baby is completely potty trained and headed to kindergarten. So now it’s just ice cream weight.

…your laundry pile makes you tear up

…you’ve ever threatened to show your child your c-section scar to prove that you are not a “bad mommy” (stretch marks count too)



…you stand in the hall each night and watch your kid sleep because they’re just so damn cute. Especially when they’re quiet and unconscious. 

…you’ve ever laughed out loud in the face of someone who doesn’t have kids yet but has plenty of parenting ideals (toys without batteries? Hahahaha yeah right!!)

This might be the blog for you if…

…you need a new favorite blog. Yeah, this is going to be it!

 

Stick around, we’re just getting started!