Update as of 2026: I wrote this at least eight years ago, maybe more, I can’t really remember. The recollection of my early years of motherhood brought a nostalgic tear to my eye. It really does go by much faster than you realize. Those sleep deprived nights and long days of wrangling toddlers sometimes seem like they will never end, but they do, and with the close of that chapter comes a new one. Filled with new challenges and new blessings. The intention of this post — and of most of my blog — is to find the humor in the chaos and beauty in the every day moments.
I went to a baby shower today and guests were asked to write down parenting advice for the expecting couple. I love this idea because I think new parents can learn a lot from those parents who have paved the way before them; even from parents like myself who haven’t been playing the game for too much longer but have made a few mistakes and overcome some challenges.
I didn’t end up writing anything down because I was holding my youngest son the entire time, but on my drive home the boys fell asleep and I had some time to think about what I would have written down. What could I say to an expecting couple, whose eyes are filled with visions of tossing balls and adorable little onesies? Who are reading parenting books that give ridiculously impractical advice like “make sure to invest in a wipe warmer, God forbid something less than a balmy 98 F should ever touch Junior’s bum”; and who are quite positive that if you sneeze too hard while holding the baby you’ll smoosh him? What could I say to them that I would have wanted to hear when I was pregnant with my first? This is what I came up with:
To the Expectant Parents,
I am the most tired I have ever been. I cannot remember a time when I was this sleep deprived. Maybe on occasion in college due to one or two nights out. But I have to say- staying up all night studying is a whole different kind of tired from staying up all night with fussy babies and preschoolers who refused to eat dinner because it looked “gross” and have now decided that 3 am is the most appropriate time for 15 snacks and an in-depth conversation about the legitimacy of Transformers.
My house is the messiest it has ever been.
The laundry is never done. Ever. Like seriously never. At this point I am pretty convinced that the laundry basket has somehow developed the ability to multiply laundry. I’m not sure who wears all of these clothes because I will wear the same pair of stretchy leggings and a nursing tank for 3 days in a row, but there is always laundry in the basket.
My life is crazy. Sometimes funny crazy, sometimes crazy-crazy, but mostly it’s just chaos.
My car is a mess.
I find toys everywhere. Every. Where. And rocks and bugs and wood chips for that matter.
I spend an inordinate amount of time wiping fingerprints off of objects, removing rocks from the house, explaining why we cannot bring bugs into the house, and telling the children not to wrestle the dogs.
I can never find anything when I need it, and I always have at least seven socks that have no matching partner at any given time
Showers for me are a luxury. So are real pants.
My body has taken on new shapes that I would lovingly describe as curvy and also squishy. I have these weird bald spots that never seem to grow back. Pregnancy truly takes a toll on the female body.
Money is tight. Not like “should we pay the electric bill or buy groceries this month” tight, but we watch every penny we spend and coupon clipping has become something of a part-time job for me.
I haven’t use the restroom alone in years. In fact, going to the bathroom is basically the universal children’s sign for “go find mom and ask her to open this.”
But here’s the kicker….
I’ve NEVER been happier in my entire life. EVER. I have spent a great deal of time thinking about this. Really asking myself if there has ever been a time in my life when I was happier. Surely during my single years? Or during the years when I got to sleep in on Saturday mornings? Maybe in the short time when it was just me and hubby but no kids? Certainly that was a wonderful time in our lives, but nothing compares to the joy of raising our children together.
Children are a blessing from the Lord, and I’m honored and grateful every single day that He has blessed me with this vocation.
I truly cherish these days because one day I won’t find LEGOS in the couch cushions or plastic army soldier in their pockets. No one will ask me to read the same books for the fifth time that day and I won’t a good portion of my waking hours getting snacks for the little people who claim to be hungry, even though it’s only been twenty minutes since lunch.
So my best parenting advice is simply this: try to find what is good and beautiful in the small, every day moments with your children, because it really does go by fast!
