Well all, today I am going to open up and share the realities of what it’s like to have a bad day as a mom. Because it’s now all sunshine and roses. It’s hard.
Being a mom is hard no matter what. under the best of circumstances it’s hard. And when you start adding layers like balancing a marriage, focusing on a job, caring for a home, and planning a trip; it all starts to mount up. Fast.
I actually had a totally different post planned (and almost completely written) for today. I committed to posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and gosh darn it I’m going to stick to it.
But I’ve been feeling uninspired. I’m unhappy with the post and the post shows that. It’s far from my best. It’s probably closer to crap. To be frank.
So I’m going to wing it and talk about what’s really going on here.
It’s December 1st. I just finished up my first month of full-time blogging (if you can call it full-time). Christmas is 24 days away (thank God my shoppings done!), Nugget’s first birthday is at the end of this month. I’m 5 months pregnant, oh and I just realized the trip we’ve been talking about for months? Yeah, it’s next week. And nothing is done. Nothing.
To say I am stressed is an understatement. And it shows. Last night I started a teary eyed argument with my husband. About pretty much nothing. Thank God he’s more patient than me.
This morning I let my child watch endless hours of TV. Just so he would stay out of my hair while I called hotels and car rental places. You know, to plan the trip that we’re supposed to be leaving for in 10 days. (Nothing like a little procrastination to light a fire under your butt!)
Everything just seemed to pile up today and after about an hour of searching for hotel deals I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. (Name that book….anyone??)**
And at some point I just kind of snapped. I snapped at the dog for licking the baby. I snapped at my older son for whining (gaawww what is with the 4-year-old whining????). And then for good measure, I snapped at the baby for crying (because I’m really gunning for that mother of the year nomination).
Let’s just reiterate here that being a mom is hard.
At that point what I really wanted to do was grab my favorite chocolate bar (salted dark chocolate with almonds), crawl into bed, cry, and call this day over.
But, for obvious reasons, that’s wasn’t going to work. So here’s what I did instead (in no particular order):
Took Some Time for Myself
Usually when I start feeling like this it’s because I’m being pulled in so many directions by so many different things and people and I have little to no time for myself. Case and point: I haven’t showered since Tuesday.
Luckily, my little meltdown was perfectly timed with nap so once the boys were down I’m indulged in some cheesecake (chocolate is for emergencies only), finished this post (checking things off my to-do list always makes me feel better), and then took a much needed rest. And I did manage to squeeze in a shower too. Thank God!
Finally, I found some time to relax and read the latest celebrity gossip. This is one of my not so guilty pleasures, or mobbies as I like to call it. (Mobbies are mom hobbies. Mom hobbies are things that are not actually hobbies, like reading celebrity gossip or taking a solo trip to Target. But since moms never have time to do these things, or actual hobbies for that matter, the simple pleasures in life become mom hobbies. Mobbies.)
Asked for Forgiveness
I actually did this before I put the boys down, but any time I lose my cool I always make sure to apologize to them. I don’t sweat it when they see me have a bad moment (or a bad day), I’m human too. We all have flaws and I have a personal limit to how many demands for snacks I can take in one morning.
But still, it’s important for me to show them I know when I made a mistake. And I’m not afraid to ask for their forgiveness. I’m also going to apologize to the dogs. And to that darn plant in the corner that I not-so-silently cursed at for allowing itself to be knocked over by the baby. Darn plant.
Cut Down My To Do List
I’ve also noticed when I have a bad day like this it’s because I have put too much pressure on myself to get everything done and get it done now!! I can’t exactly delegate- what would I even delegate? Hey Barkely (my dog), can you make dinner tonight? That would really help me out, thanks!
Yeah right! But I can use the resources around me to help alleviate some of the stress. I’m going to order dinner tonight, instead of cooking (there’s one thing gone). The dishes can wait for tomorrow. And my husband already agreed to clean the bathrooms on his day off. Boom. There’s three things I can clear of my to-do list for today.
And that leaves me time to focus on what absolutely has to be done today. Like this post. And showering.
Connected with My Kids
They’re the reason I do what I do every day. I’m trying to build a business through my blog so they can have a better life. We’re planning a trip to Illinois so my kids can connect with their family. Everything I do really is for them.
But when I get so bogged down in to-do lists I forget about that and suddenly my kids are an obstacle in my day not the reason for my day. We all have bad days, but sometimes it’s important to take a minute and connect with your why. For me, that’s my kiddos.
Taking some time to reconnect with my kids (usually by reading them a story) helps me to remember why I’m doing all of these tasks in the first place! Plus, it gives me a chance to take a deep breath and slow down.
Hopefully these steps will help me turn this bad day around. And fast!
**it’s one of my favorite children’s books, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” by Judith Viorst. If you you don’t already have it, it would make a great stocking stuffer, it’s on sale right now and it’s a classic for sure!
update: I did all of these steps and it totally helped!! The boys took extra long naps and when they woke up I was fresh as a daisy! And we’ve all had a much better afternoon, take-out dinner included!
How do you turn your bad days around?